Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall. Who’s This I See? Could It Be Me?

My daughter, Addy and I. (If only that sentiment on her face was 24-7. I’ll take it whenever it happens!)

A big part of this blog is sharing my own personal parenting adventures. To do that, I’ll end up sharing a lot about my daughter too. She’s 5-years-old, loves the color purple, expresses herself best through dance and song, and always insists on checking out the massive Anaconda during our zoo visits (it’s been her favorite animal since age 2).

Have you ever heard the phrase, “It’s a Minnie-Me”? When I became a mom, I really wasn’t expecting my own child to resemble myself. I’m not talking about physical attributes so much. Genetically, I knew my daughter would likely have reddish blond hair, blue eyes and my button nose. Her hips, like both her mom’s and grandma’s, would be robust and her height above average. She was even born with a club foot like her dad. When I call Addy a “Minnie-Me” I’m more often referring to her attitude, language and distinct personality markers. Somedays, it’s like looking in the mirror!

Many days, I can honestly say I am flattered by what I see. Other days, I cringe. Sometimes it is the reflection that gives me pause to consider some habits I’d like to change in myself. It’s like being held accountable to what I am offering the world and how that offering is helpful or hurtful. It also becomes a teachable moment. Before I proceed with the lesson, I must ask for who the lesson is most needed – myself or her?

Addy is actually my daughter’s nickname. On her birth certificate, it states Adina Marie Licklider Bond. A mouthful, so we started using Addy right from the beginning. Adina was my great grandma’s (on my mother’s dad’s side) name. She was a Norwegian-American, raised six boys and two girls, lived on a farm and played the church organ. How she came to have a Hebrew name is curious. How it became my middle name and then my daughter’s first name isn’t as curious. My great grandma was small in stature. Her slight frame, however, did not match her fierce nature. She was a mother raising 8 kids on a farm during the early 1900’s and largely without her husband as he died at a young age. The same adjectives I so often use when describing Addy also apply to my great-grandma Adina: stubborn, defiant, bossy, tough, argumentative and unapologetic. (And since I introduced the mirror theme, I must confess these adjectives work for me too!)

There is a negative ring to this list that seems to assume great-grandma Adina wasn’t well liked nor easy to get along with. From the stories my grandpa told me, she was well loved and quite an incredible woman. My mom remembers her kindness and steadfast nature. She was without judgement and did whatever it took to care for her family and their farm.

What if I used some different adjectives to describe both my great-grandma and my daughter? Would it make the reflection easier to look at? Could I celebrate my daughter for who she is and what she offers the world?

My daughter, Adina Marie Licklider Bond, is determined, daring, confident, resilient, passionate, and satisfied [with being Addy].

Wow! That’s a different reflection and one who’s namesake would be honored. This mom is proud, even if at times, I am a bit terrified of my daughter’s strong and high-spirited personality. It just means a few more challenging parent moments. It is also a blessing to have such vitality in our house.

Right now, as I look into the mirror that is my daughter, I see the best version of myself. Today is a flattering day. More than that I give thanks for a daughter who, today, reminds me that the tribe we are part of is a beautiful one and is for this world, a force to be reckoned with!

Addy, I started this blog because of you. Her First Role Model is my love letter to you. Let me begin by reminding you that you are, indeed, brave, capable, strong, clever, silly and kind. And you are all these too:

BRAVE